How I got Pregnant for the First Time…at 40!
I had my first baby at 40 and my second baby at 42.
I had healthy pregnancies, I birthed them at home with my husband and I feel SO grateful for the tools I used to make it happen.
The truth is, it’s unusual for women to have babies so late in life!
I definitely saw some looks of surprise at mom’s group or when I was meeting someone new. Which totally makes sense - they just didn’t know my story yet!
I definitely wanted a family earlier in my life, but my path didn't exactly line up with that goal. I struggled in my relationships and I fell into addiction in my 20s and early 30s. I struggled HARD. I was living in Los Angeles, working in the production industry, promoting bands and partying all night, so it’s safe to say that I was not ready to have children. But I knew in my heart of hearts that I was meant to be a mom.
By the time I came out of that dark place I was in my mid 30s and I was in a relationship with a guy who didn’t even WANT kids. So I began to think that maybe it would never happen! I thought, maybe I was wrong about being a mom. Maybe it’s just not in the cards for me. I was wishing for it, but the path to motherhood was feeling really unclear.
But the universe has a funny way of flipping the script, doesn’t it?! One day, when I least expected it, I met a man. Not just any man...I met my future husband Gabe! He was kind, grounded and creative. He was the person I was looking for, subconsciously, for a very long time. I fell head over heels for him and when I was with him, I felt my dreams coming true. Deep within myself I hadn’t given up on love. And I had not given up on my dream of being a mom. It was there the whole time.
My inner desires were there during my addiction and during my recovery. They were ever-present under the surface when I felt alone, or unworthy, or frustrated. They were always there waiting for me to be ready to make them happen. Life is a funny thing - sometimes the universe gives you exactly what you need, when you need it the most.
But...my age!
My husband and I got serious and he definitely expressed a desire to be a dad. But by this time I was worried that if he chose a life with me he might not get to experience fatherhood. My age combined with my health history made me concerned that I just wouldn't be able to get pregnant or carry a pregnancy to term. What if I did all that inner work, showed up to make it happen and it was TOO LATE?
But I decided to keep the faith. As soon as we realized that we were going to spend our life together I began the journey of getting my body as healthy as possible so that I could conceive.
At 40 years old we were able to conceive our first daughter naturally and we birthed her at home. 2 1/2 years later we became pregnant again naturally with our second daughter who was also born at home. A mom and 2 happy babies, all healthy and thriving!
When I tell this story, I see glimmers of hope flash across the eyes of other women like me: Women who think maybe it’s too late, or maybe they’re too old, or maybe it’s just “not in the cards”. These women often ask me to share what it was like to help my body prepare for a pregnancy and I am happy to share what steps I took!
Whether you’re trying to get pregnant later in life or prepping for pregnancy at ANY age, this is a guide to some of the ways you can help your body become healthy and ready!
Contact me for a free consult if you’d like additional personalized suggestions. We can go over your specific situation and I can guide you in a direction of empowerment.
#1: Great health starts with great food
First things first: what we put into our body directly affects every organ system in our body. So what are you eating, and what are some of the steps you can take to improve?
I would suggest that you write down some of the strengths and weaknesses of your current diet and choose a few things to cut out and a few things to add. For example, you can start by cutting out processed foods and refined sugars. And to add to your diet, you can take stock of some vegetables and meats that you could add that are known for their health value - such as avocados, fresh green salads, and local meats with good fats.
In my case, I began filling in my diet mainly with fruits and vegetables, mostly paleo-style (but not in a rigid way). My main focus was eating as many fruits and vegetables as possible, plus good healthy fats and proteins and very few grains or processed refined sugars. I noticed immediate benefits to these changes.
To complement my healthy diet I got on high quality nutritional supplements. Click here to discover my favorite regimen of supplements… ( insert link to the lifelong vitality pack)
#2: Understand your own body’s nutritional needs
Every body is different. While there are some things that I would recommend for everybody - like my favorite daily supplements - there are also some nutritional needs you may have that you don’t even know about yet.
Before I conceived my first daughter I went to see a naturopathic physician and got some tests done. I discovered that I had the MTFHR gene mutation.
I didn’t totally understand what that meant, so I began to research the nutritional needs I had because of that gene and I incorporated a methylated B vitamin and started taking Lemon essential oil internally to help with glutathione production. I also discovered some issues that I wanted to start working on like digestive inflammation and low iron. I discovered that digestive health and nutritional absorption had a lot to do with both of these issues. So I started taking a high-quality digestive enzyme and probiotic plus incorporated these essential oils into my routine to help my digestive system: doTERRA Ginger, DigestZen blend, Wild Orange, Fennel, and Copaiba.
In addition to the oils I researched and asked my midwife and naturopath about taking doTERRA Phytoestrogen supplement and she approved it for me to use, so I began incorporating this herbal supplement into my routine.
Meeting with a naturopathic doctor is a great way to begin becoming more in tune with your own body and using the information you gather to feel your best during your conception and pregnancy journey.
#3: Balance those hormones!
Lastly, I got serious about hormone balance. One of the easiest things you can do to improve your hormone balance is to eat something first thing in the morning. Pretty simple right?!
I had a bad habit of waking up, drinking a few cups of coffee and not eating anything... until noon! I started to change that habit and began eating a balanced breakfast first thing. I noticed a difference in my mood and my energy levels very quickly after making that change.
Another thing I began doing to balance my hormones was Lunaception. This one might sound a little out there if you’re not familiar with it yet, but keep an open mind and try it! I swear by it. Basically I met a midwife who encouraged me to recreate what it would have been like for our ancestors to sleep under the stars without artificial light. Bathing under the light of the full moon is balancing in many ways and recreating pre-electricity sleeping conditions is easier than you think!
In addition to these practices, I learned a lot about using essential oils to aid in natural hormonal balancing. Specifically I started using doTERRA Jasmine, Neroli, ClaryCalm blend, Clary Sage, Rose, and Whisper blend.
#4: Call it in
It’s important to prepare yourself to be a mother physically. But it’s also important to prepare emotionally and even spiritually! Whatever your beliefs are, are you ready to welcome them into your life? This was some of the most important work I did in preparation for my children. I suggest that you take the time to emotionally, mentally and spiritually welcome them into your life.
In my case, I began talking to the souls of my unborn children. I thought about their souls and I prayed about our journey together.
You can meditate on this thought, pray to welcome them, and you can even sit and journal about your feelings about becoming a parent. You can write about how ready you are to receive their souls into this world. You can take a walk in nature and speak this desire aloud to the plant world and to your higher power. Whatever methods of connection you choose, call it in.
I recommend this book which really helped me prepare emotionally and spiritually to be a mom.
#5: Enjoy the journey!
Yes, you’ll be making some changes. You’ll be transforming your nutrition, adding essential oils, supplements, and consuming nutritional foods. But you know what comes after that? Fun! FUN, enjoyment and the pleasure of connecting and creating.
It’s important to let go of worries and fears and immerse yourself in the human experience. The most fun part was baby-makin’ time with my husband! I've actually got a whole collection of oil ideas for you to increase passion in the bedroom. Sign up here to get a printable PDF sent to your email. We enjoyed using these recipes to enhance pleasure and make memorable experiences on our journey to parenthood ;)
I hope you loved this post.
PLUS: I made you a free “Oils for Intimacy” guide!
These blends are the spice you need right now, trust me!
If you’re brand new to using essential oils in your intimate life, be sure to also enjoy my blog post on how and why they can help you spice things up in the bedroom…
*If you’re making changes to your health and nutrition, always be sure to consult your physician!